Years ago I began to take a deeper look into myself to find out the reasons “why”

While this is a broad spectrum of analysis, it has put me on a path with winding curves, obstacles and obstructions and along the way I have met some very colorful but also some very bland people. I am no where near the end of this path and quite honestly I hope I never do find the end. I hope that the path I am creating will be followed by those who I invite to travel with me. This path should never see a closed door or permanent end.

In the analysis that I have been able to understand and comprehend, I have unlocked parts of my mind that I never knew existed. Some bad, most good, all for a reason. Do not get this “for a reason” confused with the idea of fate. This collection of occurrences has brought me to the teachings and literature of so many different minds in an effort for understanding. If I could sit and listen to the authors over a cup of the finest coffee or a cigar… I do believe that it would be the so-called heaven we all hope to reside in.

My collection thus far includes knowledge from any culture and class that I can find and verify. The overlapping of certain texts and theories allows me to validate some some of these teachings or works. This verification is essential because through the time-line of human existence we have seen some of the greatest and also the most evil of minds. Evil drives the vehicle of greed and for that reason and that reason alone humanity cannot be taken 100% seriously. In other words, don’t believe everything that you see, hear, or read. I dare you to question the validity of even this writing, after all.. I’m just another blogger.

For most of my life I have followed the tell tale signs of chaos theory and natures way of “trash pickup” –entropy. This has led me to the belief (or rather the DIS-belief) of fate and pre-determination of life. Though, Life seems to have its way of saying “I do what I want.” This complication has plagued me in the reasoning of if fate exists and if we were created or if we happened. Then I came across the I Ching.

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I really need to mark this month. October has changed all of my life and the future for Farrah and I. Between meeting new people, learning more about myself and us through them, and as well as moving.. so much is happening.

I have stressed myself enough, yet again, to where its taking a toll on my body.  Lack of sleep, anxiety, and a few other things all contribute to adding more stress… Amidst all of this stress, my little dog Chester seems to be waging his own war. As everyone knows he is getting up there in age and his immune system isn’t fighting infections as it used to. His teeth are likely to kill him, but I took him to the vet last Friday and get him some anti-biotics. Its either lymphoma or just a system infection.. either way the same applies. As long as he is willing to fight.. I will fight for him.

With my life creating such huge ripples its affecting those around me. Farrah for one obviously.. We’re on our way to Orlando. I have taken a “newish” job and a company on the starting line of some huge adventures. While still all a big new thing… it opens up more possibilities for both of us. I am able to take on a role of project manager and get my clients work done faster, without actually having to be the coder behind the desk. Farrah is able to focus her time on school and give herself the attention she has deserved for years, but never been able to.

While we have to say goodbye to the little beach-house bungalow we have set up.. Orlando is bringing us more opportunity for the rest of our lives. Daytona is a sticky mess that holds everyone in. A true black-hole. I don’t hate Daytona anymore.. but I realize whats going on now. Daytona “is what it is” and will never be any more than that. I need a little more security in my future than Daytona is capable of offering. I need to be able to retire and not work till I’m 70. I need that rest and enjoyment of life. I have to work for it now to have it later.

I’ve met a lot of new people in Daytona in the last year or so. Some of them I will never see again. Others.. I truly hope that we keep in touch. So many of you are truly good people and I hope you all stay that way. Farrah and I will of course be back in town. Daytona and Ormond is where I grew up, so many paths of my life have started here.

Live life as a sphere, in infinite direction. For if you rely on only one path, you shall always find an end.

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When I moved into my house, I didn’t know what this random overgrown vine was. After asking the neighbors, I learned it was actually a hybrid grapevine, brought over from Italy.  Over the winter I let it die back, and removed all of the over growth in January.

With April came new growth and sun. Voila.. baby grapes. Something I always wanted you to have grampa, I saw you try growing the vines so many times.

I love you and miss you.

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Getting back into the groove, into november, Loving every second with Farrah, and every minute of this cooler weather. Need to fix some shit on the car, need to also clean the house, if i ever find a second to sit down.

Going to tally this weekend with Mom and Farrah. First time she gets to meet the boys and Angie.

Had an excellent halloween. no drama! finally, for the first time in 4 years it wasnt painful. I was able to enjoy myself, and enjoy Farrah. Mike had a good time too, what he remembers of it!

Rented a new house in Sept, i dunno if i already wrote about it or not. beachside in Daytona, i love it. great house, plenty of room for me and guests. I even have my own vinyard! haha.

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[koh-ig-zist]

noun or verb (used without object)

1.	to exist together or at the same time.

2.	to exist separately or independently but peaceably, often while remaining rivals or adversaries: Although their ideologies differ greatly, the two great powers must coexist.

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One thing I’ve come to realize recently is that with all of humanity’s “great accomplishments” we have yet to really master the concept of coexistence. We can fly to the moon, we can create genetic clones in a test tube, we can vaccinate against AIDS, yet we cant seem to get the hang of simply living together. I sit here and I watch late night shows on discovery channel or whatever, and I see birds that mate and pair for life. regardless of what happens, those two will remain a bonded pair until they both die.

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Last week my dad an I got word from his cousin that their Uncle (my great Uncle) Aaron was sick, and in the hospital. He had been living down in Lakeland for the past few years, and we hadn’t heard much from him. It wasn’t news to us that he was in bad health, but the news was worse than expected. He was in the hospital and on life support, and had multiple system failures happening. My dad and I knew it was almost time, so we took a day to go down and see him and Deanna.

Aaron was someone on my dad’s side of the family that I actually did get to know when I was a kid. Though sparse, he was part of my life, and I always have good memories of him. The last Time I saw him was when My grandmother (his sister) passed. almost 7 or 8 years ago now I think.

He passed away yesterday. I will miss him.

RIP Uncle Aaron

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